Countdown to Ramadhan!

I'm not sure I've ever been excited about Ramadhan. Or it's been a while since I have.
I've been unable to fast for the past few years due to pregnancy and breastfeeding. But unfortunately I suffer from something called migraine belly . I do have pain in my head but my main symptom is the gastric stasis they speak of, which basically means that my stomach stops digesting. So I have to take I migraine tablet at the slightest hint of one.
To top it off the cause of my migraines are not eating properly.
Now if I didn't have children I could stay in bed or deal with the symptoms. But I cannot function properly when I have an attack.
It feels like such a cop out :( I know inshaAllah I'm excused from fasting, but this is a fundamental pillar of Islam.
I'm going to try to enter into the spirit of Ramadhan in every other way!
InshaAllah i'd like to experience Ramadhan and Eid in an Islamic country one day as I don't really know how big a deal it is.
So part of my list for this Ramadhan:
Read the Quran.
More Islam Channel
Talk to the kids about what i'm reading in the Quran, and the meaning of Ramadhan
Be nice!
Act like a Muslim
Prayers, prayers,prayers!!!!!

Did you know?

That mummy's kisses stay forever?
I was reliably informed by a good friend that no matter how hard my boys wipe their faces, my kisses remain!
This has been the best bit of news I have had in some time :)
Mwah!

Why is it so difficult?

Edited. As I have realised that we are not static. But ever evolving in our relationships.

32 years and a Radley bag

This is the beauty that I received as a prezzie from my big sis the other day! Completely out of the blue. I didn't even remember ever mentioning it to her :)

Not sure if I've ever mentioned my big sis before. We weren't brought up together. We have different mothers but a lot of things in common (other than our dad). She's a solicitor.

We took my bag, my youngest son and headed off to the antiques market where I had a ball! She's such an enabler. I'm glad I didn't have any money because I would have spent every last penny! (Apparently I like exclamation marks)!!

So my big sis bought my first Radley bag :) and I love it soooo much.

Cats, cats everywhere.....

Omgosh! There are THE most cats near my NEW house ;) I love it btw! (the house that is) I have lovely neighbours and we're at home here.
But what the hell are all the cats about? I mean i'm glad they're not dogs but why is it acceptable for your cat to roam about it my garden crapping as it goes?
Can you imagine if I hopped over your fence and did a turd on your lawn? Even if it was my dog (I don't have one btw) it would be totally unacceptable for me to allow my animals to roam around on your land and do as they please.
My husband discovered a cat roaming around the house the other day!
I feel I must state that I do like cats (although am allergic) but if I wanted to clean cat poop up i'd get one of my own! Get your cat out of my garden!!!!

Domestic sluttery

I love this blog. I love things they find (but I'm not cool enough to wear). The recipes that I'm never going to try and all the rest of the other stuff that i'm not going to do.

Mostly I'm using

My APLX (Angel pack LX - no idea what the LX stands for). My Zitai (Norweigan Mei tai) and I used my ever faithful Freehand (Kaire made) the other day :)
I'm always using wrap ring slings for quick up and downs. I have an Inka (THE best) and my lovely friend loaned me ulli. Both storches

Doodlehouse

So a while ago I raved about a coop that I saw on Ebay called a Doodlehouse (see previous post if you fancy it). So I ended up buying one from there then Ebay shop. Big mistake!!! Huuge mistake :(

Initially I stored it my mums, In the wrapper. She moved so I had to find a new home. I unwrapped it and treated it with wood preserver - I have to add at this point that (as I remember it) their Ebay listing professed that you *could* paint it but it didn't NEED painting.

I *think* mine is made of exterior plywood. At the time the bumf said something like....why don't we use marine plywood? Because rain doesn't have salt in it blah, blah, blah.
I'm getting pi$$ed off as I write.
Soon after they changed their product to marine ply, and have changed the materials again (hmm I wonder why)?
Oh and the most laughable part of it! I remember the listing saying something along the lines of....how they had been had by cheap/poor quality chicken coops and how they had to buy a new one soon after.
This had been why they had designed the Doodlehouse. So that other people wouldn't have to go through what they had (I'm writing this from memory so this is not the exact wording - I wish I'd taken a screenshot).
So, I treated the coop. Stored what I could indoors and one piece could not fit so I left it outside.
However, it is a coop and that's where it's going to be used so what's the problem you ask?

It weathered awfully. Awfully I tell you! It was outside for one winter and has been stored outside for just over a year.
Here are some pics:

Do you think this is how a chicken coop should look after such a short time outside? Without the added stress of chicken poop and pee!!! I don't!
It looks shocking and I so wish I'd waited a bit longer and bought an Eglu or Cube from Omlet. I didn't rush into this purchase. I researched, I waited, I researched some more and bought within my budget. Fat lot of good that did!!


But in my opinion that's not the worst part. I contacted Doodlehouse and at first the emails seemed positive. I was offered a discount towards a new Doodlehouse. Which I appreciated, it's just that I can't afford a new Doodlehouse, even with a discount. I could have bought an Omlet Cube with the money that i'd spent in total (if i'd have bought another)!
So I told them that sent pictures and also stated that I didn't think the coop was fit for purpose. I mean, a coop made in Britain that can't stand up to British weather in my opinion is not fit for purpose! Look at the state of it! It's not going to improve with age!!! Grrrrrr

Would you like to know their response?
To IGNORE me.
No answer, nada, nothing, zilch.
Erm, great customer service there.
So what do I do?
Resend the email.
No reply.
What the hell is that about?
So they sold me a dud coop and then ignore me when I try and tell them about it.

My advice to anyone who is thinking of buying one is to think again. Their new coops maybe the dogs whatsits, but if you have a problem that's when you'll be left hanging.
Buyer BEWARE!!!!

Ok, so I went AWOL

I'm afraid I had to but I will explain. I have so much to say but I currently have a nursing child (that's weird to write down) on my lap. But I am in my new home!!!!!!! Woohoo :)

How do you become the person you want to be?

I see her. She's pretty far away and I don't know how to reach her.
How do you do it?
I seem to fail at every hurdle.
I'm not the woman, wife, mother, daughter or friend that I want to be. I try, but I don't strive.
I know it is within me me yet I take two steps forward...
Oh God, please help me to be that person.

Nice

I'm editing this post so that i'm not confronted by the really nice comment made to me.

I remembered something else!

Lol!
I am a consumer. I consume and consume and consume. Phew! It's tiring and actually pretty unfulfilling. I remember  a song by Kanye West "All falls down" resonated with me. Let me fnd the words...
"a single black female addicted to retail...We'll buy a lot of clothes when we don't really need em
Things we buy to cover up what's inside..."

There's more but these highlight the point i'm trying to make. Why do I feel the need to acquire stuff? I have two large storage cupboards jan packed with 'things'. I use the same things in these cupboards and large majority are stored. But if I don't use them, what the heck am I keeping them for?
I need to get rid of some shit!

I've penned a few blog entries in my head

But not posted them. Lets see if i can remember...
Oh yeah, the first was about perception.
It follows on from my ST Georges flag post.
When I see a woman in niqab I feel a bit envious. I wish that I had the faith and confidence to wear one. I don't feel fear, but apparently some do.
I can't remember what it felt like for me to see a woman in niqab before I was a Muslim. I'm not sure I even noticed.
So perception in 'nine tenths of the law' as  I like to put it. We can look at the same thing and yet perceive it to be something else.
My husband and I can't agree on what a jumper is.
Which leads me on to politics...
I spoke to friend on polling day about who were going to vote for and our reasons behind doing so. This conversation carried on for approximately 60mins. With us no closer to understanding each others viewpoint. We've been friends for a long time.
But it did make me wonder how we can be friends when we are poles apart in our thinking regarding politics? In fact, it's not that our chosen political stances differ. It's that our understanding of the political system is very different.
It was her first year voting.
Which leads me on to a thread at my favourite watering hole ;) Where it was  argued that the BNP are not racist and how is 'Britain staying British' racist?
Well what can I say to that? Lots, but I'm not going to bother other than to ask what is it to be British?
And finally. After watching that debate unfold I bumped into someone that i've known for about 20yrs and some how got onto politics (yeah, learn your lesson woman). She then started to go on about illegal immigrants??!! Show me and illegal immigrant!! I know they exist but honestly I think the people she was talking about were immigrants. Nothing illegal about them.
This coming from a woman who 'fiddles the system'. WTHeck??!!
I'll crawl my butt back under a stone.

St George's Day

Apparently he is the patron saint of a few places which I never new. In fact I know little to nothing about St George. My guess is that most people don't.

I do know about the flag. The English flag. St George's cross.






It actually elicits a physical response from me, and not a positive one. A little feeling of dread. I can't help it. In my head I know it is just the flag of England. But the numpties who have commandeered it as their own have succeeded (in my case) in creating a negativity around it.
I was talking to a friend a couple  of months ago about how twerps have made it unpopular to fly the flag and celebrate St George's day. That we should claim it back and celebrate it as it was meant.
I agree. Maybe next year we should Issue St George's day as a 'claiming it back day'!
Maybe next year I'll fly the flag (I doubt it though).

Health Care Bill

I don't know the ins and outs of it but I hope that it helps to improve the lives of those that need help, but can't get it (for whatever reason).
I can't imagine not being able to pop along to the doctors. Worrying about whether it will be covered by my insurance. The NHS is not perfect by any means, but I thank God that it is available to me.
I'm at the doctors most weeks with my sons eczema. I am repeatedly getting prescriptions for him (which are free).
I'll say it again. Alhamdulilah (praise be to God)!

So I visited a school today

I'm not sure what I think of it.
The person showing me around was a little lack lustre. Is that relevant?
I asked if she enjoyed working there? She said it was alright *shrug* - what do you say to that?
It is a small school - bonus. But the school is small iykwim? The playground wasn't very large. But it had a separate area for the nursery kids and a garden for growing plants/veg?
Overall it seemed OK but I'm not enamoured with it.
The search goes on...

I'm Anxious

About which school my son should go to. He won't go until he's 5 as he's born in September (he's 3 now) I have to choose when he's 4. But I can't stop thinking about which school he will attend.
I keep toying with the idea of home schooling but don't know if I could do it!
I'm visiting another school tomorrow. I don't want him to go there and I've not even visited it.
I also made an appointment at another school for Friday.
I tried to go and visit the closest school (I attended it for just under two school years), as far as i'm concerned it's a crock. But I thought it was 20 years ago that I attended it and I shouldn't go off what people have said about it as their values could be very different.
So I phoned and tried to make an appointment to have a look at the school at the person I spoke to did their utmost to dissuade me. What's that about? I'm not even going to bother!!!

Another school that I visited, and reputedly a good one (I did like the feel of it).The person that showed me around was telling me I should put one of my 'local' schools down as I may get turned down and find that the local authority place my son in a school that is ridiculously far away. 'would I rather he go to a crappy school (even if it's just through the appeals process). Or a school in a different part of the city?'.
Neither thanks!
These schools that I'm looking at are 10/15 min walk away and 5 mins in the car.

I'm getting to babywear!!!

It's so nice!!! I'm finally able to wear my youngest son!!! His face and scatching has improved enough for me to wear him!
I've worn him in my Zitai's mostly. They are perfect!
I've got to build my babywearing muscles back up but it so nice to be able to back carry my little guy.

Where are you from?

I get this every so often. Mostly from Muslims.
I always stutter. I want to say "I am from Manchester thanks!"
I'm a Mancunian gosh darn it!
But that's not what they want to know. They want to know where I get my brown skin from. So I say, "my parents are from Jamaica". Then I feel like I'm disowning Jamaica, which I'm not. But I've never set foot there. My parents both attended secondary school in the UK and when the talk patois (Jamaican), I wanna hide under a stone lol! Because it's so alien to me (don't tell them ;)It sounds like they're putting it on.
I was having this conversation with my husband as it happened again and he said - as he always says "you're Jamaican".
He's Somali - well he's as Mancunian as they come but his parents are Somali. So I said
"I would argue that as Jamaica was a colony of Britain and under British rule for the longest time. The traditions and identity of Jamaicans (descendants of African slaves) has been somewhat eroded and intermingled with that of their 'rulers'" Well something like that lol!
So he said that maybe it was something about my family that didn't identify with being Jamaican.

Fair enough, I suppose that could be the case.
When I look at him I see that it is something to be Somali iykwim? Traditions,pride, a sense of belonging and many other things. That is aside from the identity he has from being a (born)Muslim.
I don't know what it is to be Jamaican. We ate ackee and saltfish on special occasions. But we ate roast chicken on Sunday's and everything else was not especially Jamaican (whatever that is).
I identify most with being Mancunian. I talk like a Manc. I walk like a Manc. But I don't drink like a Manc ;) lol!

Parenting can be lonely and thankless

Did I know that before I 'signed up'? Nope. I mean I didn't expect it to be a whirlwind of parties and canapes.
But shoot! It's isolating.
Well I'm not your socialising type anyway. I've been a home body for a long while. I could force myself to go to the park and smile at the other mum's but I don't want to.
Do you think you can make friends as an adult? I mean real friends?
I feel like I have. But I'm not very good at maintaining relationships, and relationships can't be one sided.
End waffle